Quotes & Jokes by Demetri Martin / page 29
I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips… but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.
Hey I was just wondering. Are you doing push ups with your knees down? Because I’m not sure if this is working out.
I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling.
Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I’m facing the right way so that it doesn’t blow back and hit me in my face.
And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.
I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.