Quotes & Jokes by Dick Gregory / page 3
A Klaner (KKK) is a cat who gets out of bed in the middle of the night and takes his sheet with him.
A friend of mine who works for naval intelligence said an aerial satellite revealed that 1.9 million attended the event in 1995. But if they would have had a rumble at the march the newspapers would have said that 75 million Afro-Americans were there.
Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
A politician is a person skilled in the art of compromise. Usually an elected official who has compromised to get nominated, compromised to get elected, and compromised repeatedly to stay in office.
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.
I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.