Quotes & Jokes by Don Rickles / page 4
I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.
I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.
I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
It's tough having the last name Rickles. Luckily, my kids handled it great.
Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun.
I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, Gee, if only I'd done The Man Who Came to Dinner on Broadway, I would have been happier.
They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.
I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don't need a blanket.