Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 21

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

People that say "I'm really sensitive" rarely are.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

You know you’re too high when you’re eating cereal naked and your girlfriend is like “Put some clothes on” and you realize that it’s not your girlfriend. It’s just a woman on the bus.