Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 21

People that say "I'm really sensitive" rarely are.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says "I'm not going to have sex with you", she'll often have sex with you.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying "things just come to me" should be punishable by death.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

You know you’re too high when you’re eating cereal naked and your girlfriend is like “Put some clothes on” and you realize that it’s not your girlfriend. It’s just a woman on the bus.