Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 20
If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.
When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.
I'll bet a lot more people would use the phrase 'go fuck yourself' more often if no one needed money.
I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.
Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?
Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying "things just come to me" should be punishable by death.
When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with "listen up doll face".
People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.
Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.
Statistically speaking, when a woman says "I'm not going to have sex with you", she'll often have sex with you.
People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.