Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff / page 20

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.

Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.

The worst part about people with bad personalities is they don't know it.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

Just saw a woman with a t-shirt that said "southern and sassy, it's all good". Well madame, I beg to differ, it is in fact, not 'all good'.

If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Women want a man who is sensitive, but god forbid you can't get it up after being frightened by a small woodland animal.

I wish you'd say that to my face. Not because I'm offended, but because I'm lonely and could use the company.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Few things are as uniquely painful as bad comedy, and the realization that the human mind is a house of mirrors with no entrance and no exit.