Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 9

I took another swig of brain-cell-be-gone and tried to act calm.

I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

I'm competitive at everything.

I went to Graceland. Go if you never been. Nothing like being ripped off by a dead hillbilly.

I love Cleveland. The weather just terrible there - too cold. All we want to know in Cleveland is where the hell’s all that global warming we’ve been hearing so much about. That’s all they ever do in the winter, stand outside with an aerosol can. >ssst<br />

If I cut myself shaving, sausage gravy comes out. That’s why I always keep a little pile of biscuits next to the sink.

You women ever look at men’s bodies like they’re meat? Ever do that when you’re alone with your girlfriends. “Look at that baby - that’s is USDA Choice Prime Cut. Mmm mmm mmm.” My body’s the part they make hot dogs out of.