Quotes & Jokes by Drew Carey / page 9

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.

After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.

We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.

This is how youre supposed to feel every day. This is what I should have felt like my whole life! I always thought I was going to die before I was 60. My father died of a heart attack in his 40s. Im not an idiot. The writing was on the wall.

I'm competitive at everything.

I went to Graceland. Go if you never been. Nothing like being ripped off by a dead hillbilly.

If I cut myself shaving, sausage gravy comes out. That’s why I always keep a little pile of biscuits next to the sink.

I love Cleveland. The weather just terrible there - too cold. All we want to know in Cleveland is where the hell’s all that global warming we’ve been hearing so much about. That’s all they ever do in the winter, stand outside with an aerosol can. >ssst<br />

You women ever look at men’s bodies like they’re meat? Ever do that when you’re alone with your girlfriends. “Look at that baby - that’s is USDA Choice Prime Cut. Mmm mmm mmm.” My body’s the part they make hot dogs out of.