Quotes & Jokes by Eddie Murphy / page 2
I’ve always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.
Flowers are the fastest way to a woman's heart. Well, actually, the fastest way is through her rib cage, but flowers are a lot less messy.
In the original script, my character was a basketball player rather than a boxer. I didn’t think I could pull that off. I’m a little short to be a basketball player!
If I don’t die in a plane crash or something, this country has a rare opportunity to watch a great talent grow.
It sure is a beautiful day. Know why? My wife walked out on me. Isn't that nice? I'm so glad the bitch is gone.
Anything you have to acquire a taste for was not meant to be eaten.
I want a woman that's going to arouse my intellect as well as my lions.
Every bad decision I’ve ever made has been based on money. I grew up in the projects and you don’t turn down money there. You take it, because you never know when it’s all going to end. I made Cop III because they offered me $15 million. That $15 million was worth having Roger Ebert’s thumb up my ass.
My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time...
Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe.
I’m 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I’m playing right where I’m supposed to be. I’m comfortable with that, but in the same breath I’d do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I’d do it.
There's a song out now called Ain't Nothing Going On But The Rent. So when a man asks a woman Hey, baby! What's going on? The woman will say, The rent, motherfucker!