Quotes & Jokes by Frankie Boyle / page 4
(Unlikely lines to hear on a TV Show ) Welcome to Blind Date with me , Stevie Wonder.
I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.
I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.
I'm sick to fucking death of skinheads queue jumping at Disneyland!
Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I’m surprised she hasn’t joined them!
Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he’s in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is that it occasionally gets warmer.
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That’s probably how David knows that there’s a World Cup coming up.
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!
They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you’ve ever been there, you’ll realize that that’s maybe a bit long.
Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back?<br /> My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.
Apparently they're going to bring in Super Asbos. But Asbos already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them Gaybos or Bender Badges.
Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch.