Quotes & Jokes by George Lopez / page 7
If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
(Growing Up) Everything was no. Birthday party? “No get Birthday party. Mira cabron. You got a lot of things already. You don’t need a party. So’s you can showoff? No. Why you crying now? No. Chucky Cheese? You wanna see a mouse, pull the refrigerator out.”
So I started to relax and would work on my act eight hours a day, sitting at a desk writing at my grandmother's house, and I would put on Richard Pryor Live on Long Beach and would play it like a loop and think and write.
"It's a wonderful day when white people black people and Hispanics all come together, to pick on another minority"
[after catching his daughter dating a teenage boy]<br /> From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!
Sarah Palin HAS to be Latina: she has a job and her husband don't work. She's gonna be a grandma, and has an infant-she's Latina.
George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... <br /> George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!
(While teaching his son to play baseball):<br /> "We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts."