58 quotes
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
