58 quotes
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast
