Quotes & Jokes by Janeane Garofalo / page 5
Until as women we all say, "No! We are not going to starve ourselves", nothing is going to change. We're our own worse enemies sometimes but I still blame men.
I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.
I'm almost 46. You become no longer even regarded in a sexual way. As you get older you're just taken out of that realm. So it's not anything that particularly confronts me very much at all.
I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.
But the only ramifications were, like, the kind of bigoted right-wing assault and pretend anger, partisan anger, that came from some right-wing radio people or the pretend anger from guys like Scarborough and nonsense like that.
I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry but don't anybody trip on my soap box on the way out. Don't anybody trip over that. And the chip on my shoulder's a little heavy. I have back problems now.
I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person - as the people in this room will attest.
He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled.
It's mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.
The reason a person is a republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that's science - that's neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican.
I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.
No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!
Nationalism and patriotism in the wrong hands will destroy lives, it really will, because I'll tell you something: it takes a village to ruin a child. I think we've proven that time and time again in this country.