Quotes & Jokes by Janeane Garofalo / page 6
I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.
My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.
I don't think that the administration is being particularly honest with the American people about what this is going to cost in life and in dollars, what the dangers are, retaliatory strikes, once it happens. This is not a war that needs to happen immediately, if ever.
Your average person wouldn't recognize a sublime entity if it attempted to fist fuck them while waiting in line for the next Batman sequel.
No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!
The camera adds ten pounds. Why? What, we don't have the technology to remedy that one little thing? We can have fucking Forrest Gump cohorting with John F. Kennedy, and we can't just fix that one little thing, the ten pound variant on a lens... You can actually levitate now when you watch a movie about flying, but they just don't have the technology for that ten pound margin of error.
A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.
How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American? Or those that advocate peace are anti-troops or pro-Saddam?
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'