Quotes & Jokes by Janeane Garofalo / page 6
Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.
I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.
My hell is going to be the stairmaster wing of Dante's inferno, where they're gonna tape my feet to the pedals and the only music I get is Michael Bolton karaoke style.
God just seems very man-made to me. There are so many theories, and not everyone can be right. It's human nature to need a religious crutch, and I don't begrudge anyone that. I just don't need one.
The camera adds ten pounds. Why? What, we don't have the technology to remedy that one little thing? We can have fucking Forrest Gump cohorting with John F. Kennedy, and we can't just fix that one little thing, the ten pound variant on a lens... You can actually levitate now when you watch a movie about flying, but they just don't have the technology for that ten pound margin of error.
No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!
Anybody who French bashes just might as well wear a badge that says 'I am a follower! I don't think for myself and I have no idea what I'm talking about.' That would be a French basher.
To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.
How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American? Or those that advocate peace are anti-troops or pro-Saddam?
Your average person wouldn't recognize a sublime entity if it attempted to fist fuck them while waiting in line for the next Batman sequel.
It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.
The reason a person is a republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that's science - that's neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican.