Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10

461 quotes

This one goes out to the younger ones out there. If your mother still drives you to school, you ain't no "gangsta", pull your pants up! Your back pockets should not be behind your knees!

You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

You might be a redneck if you've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.

You might be a redneck if you call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if Red Man sends you a Christmas card.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you wear someone else's work shirt.