Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.