Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.
If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles per hour... you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
This one goes out to the younger ones out there. If your mother still drives you to school, you ain't no "gangsta", pull your pants up! Your back pockets should not be behind your knees!
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.
As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.
You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.