Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10

If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas cards have a copy of your butt included.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles per hour... you might be a redneck.

This one goes out to the younger ones out there. If your mother still drives you to school, you ain't no "gangsta", pull your pants up! Your back pockets should not be behind your knees!

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.