Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.