Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 10
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
You might be a redneck if you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.
If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles per hour... you might be a redneck.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.
This one goes out to the younger ones out there. If your mother still drives you to school, you ain't no "gangsta", pull your pants up! Your back pockets should not be behind your knees!