Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 11
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got an idiot.
This one goes out to the younger ones out there. If your mother still drives you to school, you ain't no "gangsta", pull your pants up! Your back pockets should not be behind your knees!
You might be a redneck if you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
As an actor, there was that freedom of not having to worry about lights or marks or other people. It was just going out there and having fun with the character.
You might be a redneck if you call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.
You might be a redneck if people are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.