Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 11

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

You might be a redneck if the taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.