Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 11

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got an idiot.

You might be a redneck if you wear someone else's work shirt.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if the taillight covers of your car are made of tape.

You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.

When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.