Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 11

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got an idiot.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if people are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you wear someone else's work shirt.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.