Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 11
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got an idiot.
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's "babydoll".
When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are "gentleman, start your engines", you might be a redneck.