Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 9
You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
You might be a redneck if the flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.