Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 9
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.