Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 9
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
You might be a redneck if the flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.