Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 9
You might be a redneck if you know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if the flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.
You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 miles per hour... you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you go to the family reunion to meet women.
I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.