Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 12
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
You might be a redneck if you fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
You might be a redneck if your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.