Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 12
You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
You might be a redneck if the taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
When I did the sitcom I was too naive. I thought, Well, they know what they're talking about, let's do that.
You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.
You might be a redneck if you fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.
A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.