Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 12
A free book that comes to my house full of nothing but women in their underwear? God Bless America!
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You might be a redneck if you fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.
You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You might be a redneck if your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube-top to a funeral home.