Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 13
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.
You might be a redneck if the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.