Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 13

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if you have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.