Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 13

You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if people are scared to touch your wife's bathrobe.

If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You might be a redneck if... you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".

You might be a redneck if you watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.

You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.