Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 13
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
You might be a redneck if you've sat on the toilet until your legs fell asleep.
You might be a redneck if you fish in your above-ground pool... and catch something.
You might be a redneck if you empty the bed of your pickup truck by driving backwards really fast and then slamming on the brakes.
You might be a redneck if the first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "Hey!" or "How Y'all Doin'?"
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.
If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
You might be a redneck if... you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if your toilet paper has page numbers on it.