Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 14

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

My mom thinks my new daughter is exceptionally bright, because now she will lie on the floor and talk to the ceiling fan. I said, "Mom, Uncle Harold does that and y'all call him an alcoholic."

You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.