Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 14

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

My mom thinks my new daughter is exceptionally bright, because now she will lie on the floor and talk to the ceiling fan. I said, "Mom, Uncle Harold does that and y'all call him an alcoholic."

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if you think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You might be a redneck if you refer to your wife and mother-in-law as "dual air bags".

You might be a redneck if on stag night, you take a real deer.

You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if... you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.