Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 15

It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

You might be a redneck if you have used a bar stool as a walker.

If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.