Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 15
You might be a redneck if... you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck.
I've said before that working with Larry is kind of like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After about five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.
You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
You might be a redneck if you have the electronic singing fish in more than three rooms in your house.