Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.
That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.