Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.