Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.

You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if you have used a bar stool as a walker.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You don't have anything; you don't own anything.