Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16
It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.
You might be a redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.
You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.
You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.