Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16
You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You might be a redneck if there are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.