Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16
You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.
You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.
You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.
If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.