Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 16

You might be a redneck if on stag night, you take a real deer.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You don't have anything; you don't own anything.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if you think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.