Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 17
Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.
You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.
You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been arrested for loitering.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.