Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 17

You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.

You might be a redneck if you have used a bar stool as a walker.

You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You might be a redneck if bikers back down from your momma.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You don't have anything; you don't own anything.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.