Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 17

You might be a redneck if you have used a bar stool as a walker.

You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You might be a redneck if you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of K-Mart.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.