Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.