Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.

You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You might be a redneck if there is a wasp nest in your living room.

You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if there is a gun rack on your bicycle.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."