Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if there is a wasp nest in your living room.

You might be a redneck if bikers back down from your momma.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

You might be a redneck if you can spit without opening your mouth.

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.