Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if there is a gun rack on your bicycle.

You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You don't have anything; you don't own anything.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.