Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18

You might be a redneck if bikers back down from your momma.

You might be a redneck if you roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.