Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 18
You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
You might be a redneck if... Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.
You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.