Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if there is a wasp nest in your living room.

You might be a redneck if there is a gun rack on your bicycle.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.