Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if there is more oil in your cap than in your car.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.