Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

461 quotes

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You might be a redneck if you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You might be a redneck if... your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.