Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if there is a gun rack on your bicycle.

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.