Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
You might be a redneck if you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.
You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.