Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When she is in a good mood it turns blue, but when she is in a bad mood there is a red mark across my forehead.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.