Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if your screen door has no screen.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if there is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.