Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 19

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if you have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.

You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.