Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to "git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.