Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You might be a redneck if your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When she is in a good mood it turns blue, but when she is in a bad mood there is a red mark across my forehead.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

You might be a redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

You might be a redneck if you think cur is a breed of dog.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You might be a redneck if you burn your front yard rather than mow it.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.