Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if your back porch is bigger than your house.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers "ho-down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.