Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.