Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

Talking with Gary Busey is kinda like sex. You want to do it, you just don't want to be alone when you do it.

You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.