Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 20

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

You might be a redneck if you've never paid for a haircut.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You might be a redneck if you use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.

You might be a redneck if your best ashtray is a turtle shell.