Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 21
You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."
You might be a redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
This woman came up to me at the book signing. She had the biggest butt I have ever seen in my life. And you've seen these kind of people. They're like, from the waist up, they're built kind of normally. And then from the waist down, it's like an explosion took place.
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.