Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 21

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When she is in a good mood it turns blue, but when she is in a bad mood there is a red mark across my forehead.

I was like, 'Have you all heard me talk?' You know, nobody's making Seinfeld live in Indiana.

You might be a redneck if your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

You might be a redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.