Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 21
If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
One in the morning, you have people waiting for a booth to open at a Waffle House.
You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.
You might be a redneck if the rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.
You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.