Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 21

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

You might be a redneck if your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if you clean your nails with a stick.

You might be a redneck if your back porch is bigger than your house.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"