Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 22

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.