Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 22

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't "juicy".

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if the ASPCA raids your kitchen.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You might be a redneck if you have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.