Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 22

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You might be a redneck if your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if the diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't "juicy".

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot anyone for looking at you.