Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 23

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if you can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.

You might be a redneck if you consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't "juicy".

You might be a redneck if you list your parole officer as a reference.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.