Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 23

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.