Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 24

You might be a redneck if your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

You might be a redneck if you've ever shot anyone for looking at you.

You might be a redneck if none of your shirts cover your stomach.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You might be a redneck if you list your parole officer as a reference.

You might be a redneck if your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if your masseuse uses lard.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.