Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 24

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought lingerie at a yard sale.

You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You might be a redneck if you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

You might be a redneck if you list your parole officer as a reference.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your back porch is bigger than your house.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers "ho-down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.