Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 24
You might be a redneck if you've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
You might be a redneck if... your child's first words are 'Attention K-Mart shoppers!'
You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.
The CMT folks, there was a genuine enthusiasm that I've never had in television before on the executive side.
You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.
You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.