Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 24

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

You might be a redneck if you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

You might be a redneck if your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

You might be a redneck if your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't "juicy".

You might be a redneck if you have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

You might be a redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You might be a redneck if motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

You might be a redneck if you think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.

The CMT folks, there was a genuine enthusiasm that I've never had in television before on the executive side.