Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

You might be a redneck if you smoked during your wedding.

You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You might be a redneck if you fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

You might be a redneck if you've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.

You might be a redneck if your masseuse uses lard.

You might be a redneck if you’ve got more than three cousins named "Bubba."

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.