Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.
The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
You might be a redneck if someone in your family says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You might be a redneck if there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers "ho-down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.
You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.