Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25
This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.
If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
You might be a redneck if you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
This woman came up to me at the book signing. She had the biggest butt I have ever seen in my life. And you've seen these kind of people. They're like, from the waist up, they're built kind of normally. And then from the waist down, it's like an explosion took place.
You might be a redneck if none of your shirts cover your stomach.
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
You might be a redneck if you can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.
You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You might be a redneck if momma taught you how to flip a cigarette.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.