Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25
You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
This book is just a collection of my drawings. I never really showed them to anybody but my wife, and she always laughed at them.
You might be a redneck if your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!
You might be a redneck if your back porch is bigger than your house.
You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
You might be a redneck if somebody hollers "ho-down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
You might be a redneck if there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
You might be a redneck if you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.