Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 25

461 quotes

If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.

You may be a redneck if... you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You might be a redneck if someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You might be a redneck if you use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

You might be a redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

You might be a redneck if you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.