Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 26

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

You might be a redneck if you pick your teeth from a catalog.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

You might be a redneck if you've totaled every car you've ever owned.

You might be a redneck if none of your shirts cover your stomach.

You might be a redneck if your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a telephone.

You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.

You might be a redneck if you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."