Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 27
The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.
You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.
I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
You might be a redneck if you just bought an 8-track player to put in your car.
My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.
You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.