Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28
You might be a redneck if your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.
You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
People always ask me, "Did you see Larry's latest movie?" I always say, "No, but I flushed a ten dollar bill down the toilet, so I feel like I've seen it."
You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.
You might be a redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.