Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

You might be a redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.