Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.

You might be a redneck if you're an expert on worm beds.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.