Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28

You might be a redneck if you have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if you're an expert on worm beds.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap on a car that does run.