Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 28

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if you're an expert on worm beds.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind".

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.