Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29
People always ask me, "Did you see Larry's latest movie?" I always say, "No, but I flushed a ten dollar bill down the toilet, so I feel like I've seen it."
You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.