Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

You might be a redneck if you haul more than U-Haul.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.