Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.

You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

I wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with me?

You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".