Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29
You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.
You might be a redneck if there has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.