Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 29

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you haul more than U-Haul.

You might be a redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.

You might be a redneck if in tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

You might be a redneck if your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart... you might be a rednneck.

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

You might be a redneck if your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.