Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if you use your fishing license as a form of ID.

I got to tell you, I really appreciate Ron for being a part of this. He had to leave a New Year's Eve party to be here tonight. I'm not saying Ron drinks, but I hugged him and my vision is blurry.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.