Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.

If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if you use your fishing license as a form of ID.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.

I got to tell you, I really appreciate Ron for being a part of this. He had to leave a New Year's Eve party to be here tonight. I'm not saying Ron drinks, but I hugged him and my vision is blurry.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.