Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

You might be a redneck if your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.

You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

You might be a redneck if you own a Waffle House credit card.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

I got to tell you, I really appreciate Ron for being a part of this. He had to leave a New Year's Eve party to be here tonight. I'm not saying Ron drinks, but I hugged him and my vision is blurry.