Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4
All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if... you've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if you use your fishing license as a form of ID.
I got to tell you, I really appreciate Ron for being a part of this. He had to leave a New Year's Eve party to be here tonight. I'm not saying Ron drinks, but I hugged him and my vision is blurry.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.