Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 4
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".
You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.
Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.
You might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.