Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 7

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

I’ve got keys to crap I’ve never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You might be a redneck if you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You might be a redneck if... the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if you use the term 'over yonder' more than once a month.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

You might be a redneck if fewer than half of your cars run.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".

You might be a redneck if your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

You might be a redneck if your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if you know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.