Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 7

You might be a redneck if... the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if you think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."

I’ve got keys to crap I’ve never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You might be a redneck if you refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year".

You might be a redneck if fewer than half of your cars run.

You might be a redneck if your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

You might be a redneck if your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You might be a redneck if you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You might be a redneck if you use the term 'over yonder' more than once a month.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.