Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 8

461 quotes

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

You might be a redneck if you know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.