Quotes & Jokes by Jeff Foxworthy / page 8
I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.
If you stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.
You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
You might be a redneck if the flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.