Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 10
I enjoy fame except when I'm with my daughter. Kids stop me all the time and I don't want her to be jealous of the attention. Also, sometimes I just want to be left alone and I refuse to make rubber faces. That's when they start asking, "What's the matter, man, don't you like your job?" I say, "Yeah, I like my job. But I also like having sex, and I'm not going to do that in front of you either."
I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.
I wanted to be a veterinarian for about a week of my life when I was a kid. But I found out about the whole euthanasia thing and I said, "I can't commit to that, sorry!"
I don't think you can know God unless you're passionate about him so you're either screaming at him, enraptured with the idea of being around him or feeling him in your life.
I'm very in love, but I'm not going to jump up and down on your couch. I'm sorry.
If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams