Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 9

It's nice to finally get scripts offered to me that aren't the ones Tom Hanks wipes his butt with.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

I just want to be myself.

Don't you get it? Someone has to save all the other cable boys and girls, someone has to kill the babysitter.

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

There was a time when people said, "Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that." Now they just say, "Pay him!"

Always turn your wheel in the direction of the skid.

I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.

I want to be the greatest actor that ever lived, frankly. I'd love that. But I don't need to be. I just want to be here. That's it.

The inner child runs rampant. They're just smaller, that's all.

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.

My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

She just gave blood and she's still got enough to fill up her face.

I'm very in love, but I'm not going to jump up and down on your couch. I'm sorry.