Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 9

Always turn your wheel in the direction of the skid.

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.

My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.

I just want to be killer funny. You know kick ass piss in your pants run out of the theatre and rip you dick off and throw yourself into traffic funny!

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

The inner child runs rampant. They're just smaller, that's all.

There was a time when people said, "Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that." Now they just say, "Pay him!"

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.

I just want to be myself.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin' wealthy.

She just gave blood and she's still got enough to fill up her face.

I enjoy fame except when I'm with my daughter. Kids stop me all the time and I don't want her to be jealous of the attention. Also, sometimes I just want to be left alone and I refuse to make rubber faces. That's when they start asking, "What's the matter, man, don't you like your job?" I say, "Yeah, I like my job. But I also like having sex, and I'm not going to do that in front of you either."