Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 9

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.

I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.

My dad was like a stage mother he always pushed me to do what I wanted.

Always turn your wheel in the direction of the skid.

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

I used to draw a lot. If my mother would ask me to do something else, I'd have a hairy conniption. I'd just go crazy.

There was a time when people said, "Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that." Now they just say, "Pay him!"

I just want to be myself.

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.

Don't you get it? Someone has to save all the other cable boys and girls, someone has to kill the babysitter.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

The inner child runs rampant. They're just smaller, that's all.

I wanted to be a veterinarian for about a week of my life when I was a kid. But I found out about the whole euthanasia thing and I said, "I can't commit to that, sorry!"

She just gave blood and she's still got enough to fill up her face.

I've tried everything. I've done therapy, I've done colonics. I went to a psychic who had me running around town buying pieces of ribbon to fill the colors in my aura. Did the Prozac thing.