Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 3

One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri.

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.

So, what's your tale, Mother Goose? Where ya from?

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!

Well, don't dig to deep or you might get burnt by the molten lava!

Most of the time I live with my pain. I have pain but I won't show it around. I think that's the nobility of the character. There's something noble in not spewing on people all the time about your problems. I'm the light guy, so I identified.

My family kinda hit the skids. We were experiencing poverty at that point. We all got a job, where the whole family had to work as security guards and janitors. And I just got angry.

I don't care if people think I am an overactor, as long as they enjoy what I do. People who think that would call Van Gogh an overpainter.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number still 911? Aaaalrighty then.

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting.

Creative people don't behave very well generally. If you're looking for examples of good relationships in show business, you're gonna be depressed real fast. I don't have time for anything else right now but work and my daughter. She's my first priority.

All that I ask is that you do every little thing that pops into my head, while I enjoy the enormous fortune your parents left behind.

Blast this Christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.