Quotes & Jokes by Jim Carrey / page 4

142 quotes

I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.

Free hot dogs here, all you can eat! Get your foot long and a bag of nuts!

It is better to risk starving to death then surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what's left?

Blast this Christmas music! It's joyful and triumphant.

My report card always said, "Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students."

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this.

I don't think anybody should go through life without a team of psychologists. I have been through times when I'm literally squatting in the living room, having one of those open-throated cries, where you're crying all the way to your butthole. I always believed I would come out of it, though.

I'm the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In the final analysis, it's still about the work.

Those times in life when you're terrified are the mastery times.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Some nights it was a melee, literally, where I'd be standing trying to defend myself for what I was doing. People would be screaming at me to do my old act, and getting actually violent and angry at me.

Yeah I'm talking to you, you toxic waste of life. You gonna pick that butt up, or do I have to glue it to the end of my shoe and stick it in your big fat pimply a-hole?

My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It's just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she's the daughter of alcoholics who'd leave her alone at Christmas time.

Somebody help me, I'm being spontaneous!