Quotes & Jokes by Jon Stewart / page 17
President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people.
We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.
The goals for me have changed somewhat. There's a bit of seduction to the idea of being on network, but it got to the point where that wasn't important. What's important is doing something worthwhile. Which is why I've always avoided being on a sitcom. Yeah, it's high-profile and it's on a network, but you know what? You could be on Suddenly Stewart.
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'
Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.
Do you know what writing a book is? It's sitting alone in a room for weeks without making contact with another human. I felt like Howard Hughes.
Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting.
The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.