Quotes & Jokes by Kevin James / page 3

I could never be James Bond.

I did stand-up my whole career, and Vince didn't, and it's a little frustrating when he's funnier than me, and that bothers me a little bit.

A song can take you to a special time in your life.

How about we work out a plan at my apartment and dinner should be around. So we can just do both.

Once a year my back will go out and it'll be... it's like a sciatic thing and it's the smallest thing. Like I could be leaning over the sink to brush my teeth in a weird way and it happens.

The mind is the only weapon that doesn't need a holister.

I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy.

I know De Niro, you know, it's all famous that he packed on 60 pounds for Raging Bull, but ah, he just did it for one movie, I do that for every movie.

I try to connect with the everyday, every guy.

I've always had something in my heart where I root for guys who struggle with women.

I never played a musical instrument growing up but I knew kids who did and took it very seriously.

Back in '93 I saw my first UFC fight and just became enamored by it then.

Why do you always give me jobs you know I'm going to fail at?

Every few months I'll pop into a comedy club or go to Vegas.

I don't want to be known as this goody-two-shoes who can only do comedies where puppies are licking peanut butter off my face.