Quotes & Jokes by Louis C. K. / page 10
The Greatest Generation gets too much credit. Those World War II guys, if they had all the shit we have today, they'd be assholes too. It's just circumstantial. It's what you're called on to do that makes you great. We haven't been called on to do anything but buy shit and get fat.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance.
We spend all our time now on customer service phone calls. I used to read when I was on the toilet, but now that's when I make customer service calls.
I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
They charged me 15 dollars. That's how much it costs to only have 20 dollars.