Quotes & Jokes by Louis C. K. / page 10

I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.

Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.

It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.

"I'm bored" is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.

Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.

A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.

I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.

How many advantages can one person have? I'm a white man!

Whenever I've encountered a Christian saying, 'Why don't you stop talking like that so I can hear you?' I think, 'Well you're the one putting the earmuffs on, but I wish you could hear me because I like you.'