Quotes & Jokes by Louis C. K. / page 12
To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.
When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.
I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.
When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.
Sorry, Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someones getting hurt.
I am really tired of looking at my hips. I’m seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, "You hips. You hips need to get it together."
I wish I could keep a journal. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people.
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened, that you have to come a ball out of that little whole at the tip of your dick. I was terrified! That's what I thought, you just... Bahh! And you push a ball out and she's screaming and there's blood everywhere...and you can only do it twice and then you're out of balls. That's what I thought. You come and have two babies, and then you just walk around with an empty sack for the rest of your life. Which turned out to be true...