What is this, an audience or an oil painting?
Milton Berle Quotes and Jokes
They’ve got plastic Christmas trees now. They’re hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
I remember the first time I met Cynthia it was at the beach. I was digging for clams and I came up with her.
One of those Christmas songs says, “You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout.” How’s my wife going to get along?
I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.