What is this, an audience or an oil painting?
Milton Berle Quotes and Jokes
They’ve got plastic Christmas trees now. They’re hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
One of those Christmas songs says, “You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout.” How’s my wife going to get along?
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
I remember the first time I met Cynthia it was at the beach. I was digging for clams and I came up with her.
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.