Quotes & Jokes by Milton Berle / page 8
She was nice to him on Valentine’s Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I’d told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.
My son really has the spirit of Valentine’s Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.
There are a lot of things money can’t buy. Not one of them is on my son’s list.
All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card – American Express.
I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.
The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.
That's a vicious rumour! A rumour started by a few million people.
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.