Quotes & Jokes by Ray Romano / page 4

I want to do well and I want to fit in.

The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

My kids are growing up and it's hard to accept they are their own person and they're independent.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good at something.

Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and fat.

I came from an Italian house. The refrigerator was always full. I never knew you had to buy food. I thought there were food fairies that came at night.

I would do a nude scene, sure, if they ever made the movie "Flat Ass Comes to Town!"

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.

I don't get sick.

That’s when you know you’re a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.