Quotes & Jokes by Ray Romano / page 5

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. 'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

I just don't want to play the same guy again over and over.

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

Would I go to see a pediatrist or a proctologist to remove a foot from my ass?

I still feel like an immature idiot inside, but I look in the mirror and - as a friend of mine once said- this old guy keeps getting in the way.

I'm aging, and the world is seeing it.

You don't want to shock them and do something totally opposite, but you also want to play a different character.

We're good friends, but we hate each other. Last year, Kevin made the cut and I didn't. My show is over. Kevin's got a really big movie coming out. What else do I got?

I love hitting into the rough because it gets me close to the people.

My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.'

It’s hard to idolize a ballplayer when you're forty and he’s, let’s say, twenty-one. How can I be yelling “You da man!” when he da kid?

I feel very privileged that I am able to do something. All of us saw the images on TV and we said we can send money but we still wanted to contribute more.

I do still get intimidated by certain things.

Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That’s how I want to love him – through pictures and folklore.

I wasn’t really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I’d see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.