Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 2
Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?
James Cagney, who said to Mickey Mouse, "You dirty rat!" Never got a dinner!
Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, "Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian." Never got a dinner!
Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, "Are you sure it’s a chest cold?" Never got a dinner!
Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., "That’s funny, to me you only look half Jewish." Never got a dinner!
He's a real loser. He moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the Welcome Wagon.
George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, "Give us a visit, and bring the missus." Never got a dinner!
Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!
Joseph Cotten, who said, "You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me." Never got a dinner!
Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, "Maybe we're white." Never got a dinner!
Cain, whose wife divorced him because he wasn't Able. Never got a dinner!
The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said "Can't work today. Have American flu." Never got a dinner!
Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, "No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat!" Never got a dinner!