Quotes & Jokes by Red Buttons / page 3
J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!
Joan Rivers, who said to Marcel Marceau, "Can we talk?" Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to Eve, "What do you mean you have nothing to wear?" Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, "What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip!" Never got a dinner!
Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, "No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat!" Never got a dinner!
The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said "Can't work today. Have American flu." Never got a dinner!
Marie-Antoinette, who said to Louis, "Not tonight – this is my last headache." Never got a dinner!
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner!
Eve, who asked Adam, "Does this fig leaf make me look fat?" Never got a dinner! (Got an apple, but never got a dinner.)
Alexander Graham Bell’s wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, "Your three minutes are up." Never got a dinner!
Harpo Marx, who once said, " ." And those words are as true today as when he first didn't speak them. Never got a dinner!
Julius Caesar’s wife, who said to Julius, "We are not naming our son Sid!" Never got a dinner!